


Sexual Mishaps

by Rulerofyouall



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Hood/Arsenal (Comics)
Genre: Bruce Wayne is Batman, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Cock Piercing, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Damian Wayne is Robin, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Gay, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Genital Piercing, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Jason Todd-centric, Jason-centric, M/M, Oral Sex, Piercings, Protective Bruce Wayne, Protective Jason Todd, Protective Roy Harper, Sex, Tim Drake is Red Robin, Tongue Piercings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:22:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28728816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rulerofyouall/pseuds/Rulerofyouall
Summary: Bruce asks Jason and Roy about a very....interesting hospital bill he got in the mail.
Relationships: Batfamily Members & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd & Damian Wayne, Roy Harper & Jason Todd, Roy Harper/Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Jason Todd
Comments: 4
Kudos: 151





	Sexual Mishaps

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing!

Bruce stared at Jason and Roy as they sat down at the dinner table. It wasn't anything special; after all, Alfred was on a well overdue vacation and had taken Cassandra with him. He was pleased that Jason decided to spend some time at the manor. (It definitely didn't have anything to do with the broken plumbing in their apartment.)

Without Alfred, none of them really knew what to for dinner. Jason, of course, could cook, but he choose instead to laugh at their misery.

And thus, they had decided to order pizza.

"Fine cuisine." Tim shoved the cheesy slice into his mouth with gusto. "Very gourmet."

Damian just stared at him, clearly about to blow a gasket at his older brother's ramblings. Bruce hoped all would remain calm tonight; it was obvious that Tim hadn't slept in a very long time. He turned his eyes back to his second son and his boyfriend, both of which were refusing to look at him.

"I got an interesting bill this morning." Bruce started conversationally. "Very interesting. It was from Gotham General Hospital."

He watched as the two perpetrators turned red.

"The hospital? Who got hurt?" Dick whipped his head around.

Roy was the one to speak up. "I don't think this is child appropriate." 

"Are you calling me innocent?" Damian glared daggers at the man.

Bruce cleared his throat loudly. "I just want to know what happened."

"Is it not obvious?" Jason sighed.

"What did you two do?" Dick looked between both of them.

"They were taken to the hospital because they got...stuck together." He worded this carefully.

It wasn't that he wasn't willing to pay for it, but he just couldn't understand how they could let that happen. It wasn't as expensive as some medical bills were. It was strange though. He hadn't ever read anything like it.

"How did you two imbeciles get stuck together?" Damian narrowed his eyes.

"Maybe it was super glue." Tim laughed a bit. "Kon and I once got stuck together while making arts and crafts."

Jason furrowed his brow. Why had they been making arts and crafts? What had they been doing?

Roy gripped his hand under the table, and Jason squeezed it back. Stupid Bruce. If he hadn't brought it up, they wouldn't be in this situation. It was a ridiculous problem they had had, so maybe Bruce was trying to punish him. 

"We got our piercings stuck together." The archer admitted.

Dick looked confused. "Piercings? What piercings?"

"I do not see any holes in your ears." Damian arched one of his eyebrows.

Did the brat really think that was the only place you could get a piercing? Maybe he was more innocent than he thought he was.

Jason stuck his tongue out, showing a metal ring sticking out of it. 

Dick looked horrified. "Little Wing, you pierced your tongue!" He was too young to make such a decision!

"How the fuck did you get that stuck somewhere?" Tim looked confused.

"What was the third word of that sentence?" Roy looked anywhere but the Waynes.

"Fuck?" The third brother still looked confused, the sleep deprived monster. It took a few moments before he spoke again. "Oh, shit..."

Damian cackled. "I knew you two were stupid enough to mess up intercourse."

"Hey, Jay's not stupid!" Roy shot back. "... I'm not either." He glanced at his partner, who nodded in reassurance.

Dick seemed to notice something. "Roy, you don't have a tongue piercing."

"No," he laughed. "We said we were fucking, not kissing."

He looked worried. "Where the fuck is your piercing?"

"He has a Reverse Prince Arthur piercing." Jason stated. He managed to say that with a plain face, which stunned Bruce.

"What type of piercing is that?" Dick added on.

The two of them then started laughing at him.

"Innocent baby." Roy crowed.

"I'm going to go look this up." The eldest son stood up to go find his mobile phone.

Bruce intervened, trying to keep everyone at the table. "It's a genital piercing."

Dick froze and slowly sat back down. He put on a strained smile, very clearly fake, and turned to his long time friend. "Roy," he started. "How did you get stuck together?"

"I already told you." He slowly inched away, scooting closer to his partner. "We were having sex."

"Yes, but it didn't quite register to me until now." The other man responded. "Not until it was stated so explicitly."

Jason supposed that made sense. It was easy to ignore if it wasn't so detailed.

"Why did you put your dick into my little brother's mouth?"

Roy's eyes widened, and he took a long sip out of his glass of water, looking away from his friend.

"I'm the one who asked for it." Jason rolled his eyes.

"You're too young!"

"I'm really not!"

"But little wing-"

"No!" Jason shook his head. "I am an adult. If you want to baby someone, look at Damian."

"Screw you, Todd!"

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose. "Enough! All of you, quiet!"

"If you don't want to pay for it, fine." Jason shrugged. "We got some money."

Damian furrowed his brow. "Then, why spend father's money, Todd?"

"It's more fun to spend his."

The father in question gestured for his children to be quiet. "Money is not the problem. I just want you to be more....careful in the future."

"I'm not eager to repeat the experience, B." Jason chuckled. "But, for your piece of mind, I will say that I will remove my ring before blowing Roy in the future."

Bruce put his head in his hands, done with the world.

* * *

_"Jay, I need you." Roy moaned, pulling his partner on top of him. Both of them had stripped each other of their clothes at some point in the past._

_Jason bit lightly at the side of Roy's neck, leaving faint pink marks wherever he went. He moved to his partner's chest, letting his tongue trace circles around his nipples. Roy arched his back as his partner lightly bit down at, groaning as electricity was sent around his body._

_"Can I blow you?" Jason asked._

_"Anal or dick?"_

_"Dick. Anal blowing can cause embolisms." He instructed._

_Roy snorted. "Who taught you that?"_

_"The fucking internet."_

_"Sounds legit." He smiled. "Blow me, Jaybird."_

_Jason smiled a sunk down his body, staring at his partner's erect penis standing proud. He started out slow, only taking the head into his mouth at first before coming off of it. Roy bucked his hips up, trying to find the now missing sensations. Jason's name died on his lips and turned into incomprehensible moaning as his partner slid right back on, taking the entire length of penis at once._

_"Jason!" Roy clutched Jason's hair and wrapped his legs around his torso._

_Jason sucked hard at it, his tongue circling around the dick. He lightly bit the ring of Roy's piercing, gently tugging at it._

_"More, Jay! I need more!"_

_He circled his tongue around his length once more, and all was going smoothly until he reached the piercing again. Jason played with the piercing with his tongue a little bit, but when he went to move again, he found that he couldn't._

_"Roy?" His voice was almost completely muffled as he tried to speak without his tongue and without hurting his partner._

_"Jay? What's wrong, baby?"_

_"Stuck."_

_"Stuck? What do you mean?" He sat up immediately, moving his fingers into Jason's mouth to feel what the problem was._

_Fuck. Somehow, the ring on Jason's tongue had become interlocked with the ring on his cock._

_"Let me try to undo one of these."_

_It was difficult. Jason's mouth was already stretched over Roy's girth, and there was little to no room for his fingers to work. He couldn't see what he was doing either, which made things all the more difficult._

_"Damn it." Roy took his hand out, now coated in saliva. "You think you can do it, Jay?"_

_He made yet another incomprehensible sound but a few of fingers made their way into his mouth and fumbled around with the piercings. As more time went on, Jason started making sounds of frustration but did not try to speak again._

_Ten minutes passed._

_Then thirty._

_"Jason? Maybe we should get some help." Roy sighed, leaning back against the headboard of the bed._

_He made a sound conveying a negative response._

_"Jay, how much longer are we going to try to get them undone?"_

_The next sound was one of frustration._

_"I'm calling someone." Roy carefully maneuvered the two of them until he could reach his phone. "Kori isn't in town. I could call Dick?"_

_Jason all but growled at that idea, once again shoving a few fingers in his mouth in an attempt to free himself. He didn't want to see Dick today at all, let alone in this compromising position._

_"Err, I could always call 911?"_

_Must they? He sighed, collapsing between Roy's legs and going limp on top of him. Roy could do what he wanted; Jason was fucking exhausted at this point. All he wanted was to get off Roy's dick (for once) and get a good night of deep sleep._

_"I'm taking that as a yes." As Jason groaned in defeat, he typed the number into the keypad and waited for the responder to pick up. Roy paused for a moment before speaking. "Hey, so I have kind of a weird problem..."_

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and suggestions are welcome and appreciated!


End file.
